The Science of Orpheus and Eurydice
by asteriaceae
Summary: Tony is dead and Bruce realizes he's in love with him far too late. Tony always told him he'd survived for a reason, and now he knows what it is; to be with him and to love him. Even if that means tearing apart heaven and hell to bring him back to life. Resurrected Tony, post-Endgame. Tony/Bruce.


**Author's Note: **

\- Trigger warning for a brief mention of self-harm/cutting (which is one of the side effects of Project TAHITI). It's nothing graphic, but if you'd like to skip over it, it's in the line of Bruce's thoughts after Fury begins explaining what TAHITI is.

\- I love Tony so, so much (Bruce too!) and I am in the camp that he shouldn't have had to die :(

\- For anyone who doesn't know what Project TAHITI is, I explain it a little bit, but it's something that happens in Agents of SHIELD.

\- The Fury in my story is the real one, not Talos.

\- I tried to keep everything mostly canon-compliant but there are a few things I am vetoing, namely:  
a) Professor/Merged Hulk. I think it might have been okay if they wrote it better but the development happened off-screen so I don't even know what to make of it all. I know they were trying to give him a happy medium and maybe set him up to snap (though I feel like they didn't need to do that just for snapping, he's a gamma expert and already gamma resistant, I mean he goes and uses more gamma rays on himself to merge with Hulk so he can clearly withstand it?). Idk I am just very frustrated we never got to see how it got there. Also, Merged Hulk just doesn't feel like either Bruce or Hulk to me. I think they would have been better off splitting tbh.  
b) Steve going into the past. I won't rehash it all here, but nope, super veto. He'll have a slight part in this.

Thank you to everyone who reads this! ^-^

…

_I wish I'd gone with him._

_If you told me there would be something more painful than being transformed into a monster against my will, being forced to endure years of exile and loneliness, or have the blood of countless people on my hands, I would have laughed._

_Tony once talked about how we create our own demons. I created Hulk, and ever since that day, all I wanted was to get rid of him. Whoever heard of a monster getting a happy ending?_

_What I never understood was I've always been whole. In Tony's eyes, I wasn't damaged, I wasn't terrifying. He told me Hulk was a blessing who'd saved my life. The way he would look at me as Bruce with all that admiration - _**_Tony Stark_**_, of all people, admired _**_me_**_ \- and at the same time revere the Hulk. In his eyes, I was the strongest Avenger._

_But because I was never able to believe it, because I could never accept myself, I never got another chance to be by his side._

_And now he's gone._

…

**_5 years ago, post-Infinity War, after Tony returns from space_**

Of all the horrors he's witnessed, this is one he never prepared for.

As Bruce begins preparing the sedative, he picks up Tony's arm to insert a new IV catheter, and what he feels breaks his heart. Tony is pale, lifeless, and nearly devoid of muscle after almost a month of starvation and dehydration, a jarring contrast to his usual iron form. Tony has come back from the edge of death so many times, it's easy to think of him as invincible. This reminder that the immortal Tony Stark actually can die sucks all the air from Bruce's lungs until he has to force himself to breathe again, before the Other Guy decides this is the moment he finally wants to come back out.

He's here now. Bruce closes his eyes and draws deep, slow breaths. He's here and I can fix him. That's all that matters.

Trying to find a vein again is nearly impossible; Tony hadn't let it drip for very long before pulling it out. It takes several tries before Bruce is finally successful.

"You know, Doctor, if you wanna poke me over and over, I know a way that's a lot more pleasurable for both of us."

Bruce lets out a light, relieved laugh, resisting the urge to pull Tony into a hug, but stops himself, for fear of hurting him. Even at death's door, Tony's still all snark. "Well, if _someone_ hadn't pulled the catheter out, we wouldn't have to do this again." He places fresh tape around the insertion site and reconnects the IV fluid line. "Please leave it in this time. You're dangerously dehydrated, and I need you to stay with me. Okay? Please don't die on me."

Tony's eyes flutter open, bloodshot, haunted, hollow. As swiftly as the mirth comes, it vanishes, and is replaced with glassy tears. "Are you gonna leave, too?" he murmurs, staring up at the ceiling.

"Leave? You mean leave New York? I'm not going anywhere."

Tony can't look at him. "Do you even know what happened? Did they tell you?"

"Tell me what? What do you mean?"

"After Sokovia," Tony starts, voice filled with despair. "It was determined that the Avengers were vigilantes. We caused too much collateral damage and too many casualties. The U.N. drafted accords so we'd be under their jurisdiction."

Bruce had heard that much. That the Avengers, especially Tony and Steve, had fallen out over those accords. None of their teammates had been willing to say much more than that.

Tony continues, pointedly staring off in a different direction. "General Thaddeus Ross came to us, demanding we sign because some fucking jackass in the White House decided to make him Secretary of State so of course he had to get involved. Cap didn't want it, thought it sacrificed too much of our freedom." He finally looks at Bruce but everything is closed off and locked away and nothing like the way he usually looks at Bruce. "But I signed. I worked with him. I tried to keep the team together and Cap fought me on it until I was nearly decapitated by his fucking shield-"

"Decapitated? What do you mean decapitated?" Bruce grips the rail of the hospital bed in an attempt to alleviate his anxiety.

"Not the point. The others turned against me after what I did. I lost everyone except Rhodey, though I damn near lost him, too. And you were gone. Pepper left me. I had no one. And I didn't know what the hell to do. It felt like everything was slipping away from me and then I betrayed you to try and keep everything together so…" His voice breaks and he bends his head as tears spill over. " I know I let you down. I know what he did to you. It's okay if you want to hate me. Everyone else does. You shouldn't be here anyway. You should join the others. So, just… just go."

It takes a minute for the full force of Tony's words to sink in and Bruce feels like his entire body's gone numb. He has no idea what to feel or what to think, his mind a dizzying maelstrom of a thousand thoughts. Tony worked with Ross… they had all fought each other and took sides… Ross wanted to take away their freedom just like he'd endlessly tried with Bruce…and Tony worked with him….

But Bruce when finally gathers enough courage to look over at Tony, his entire body instantly deflates. In the entire time Bruce has known Tony, he's never seen this much pure despair in him. Not since the wormhole incident. It's everything, not merely the idea of losing Bruce, that has done this to Tony. Bruce isn't worth that much to anyone. But he'd hate to cause Tony even the barest amount of pain.

Visibly softening, Bruce reaches out and places his hand on Tony's arm and tries to give him the most comforting smile he can. There's no way Ross and Tony's goals were ever the same and it wouldn't be fair to label him that way. Ross can only destroy while all Tony has ever wanted is to protect; and if Bruce had been here, he has no doubt Tony would have protected him, just as he has before. "I'm not leaving you, Tony, it's okay. You weren't wrong. I get it why you did it, and I know you didn't really have a choice. And I mean… if someone had Ross on a leash maybe he wouldn't have been able to turn me into Hulk and destroy my life. That guy's sole mission is to make everyone's life hell, I'm pretty sure."

The amount of relief that visibly washes over Tony is like a tidal wave crashing against his walls as he realizes he's been forgiven; he lets out something resembling a strangled sob and closes his eyes. "You know you're only one of like two people who can consistently tolerate me for more than three minutes, who doesn't treat me like I'm some prick in their side? You've always listened to me, always had my back even when you didn't agree. You're the only one who's happy to see me no matter what crazy shit I did that day. You've never once asked me for anything or wanted me to change who I am, so obviously you must like me for me somehow."

Bruce's smile falters. Tony sounds so lost and broken and alone that it's hard not to feel guilty for contributing to it with his absence, even if it wasn't on purpose. "I know I.. left rather recently, but it wasn't because of you. It's never because of you. The Other Guy literally locked me away for two years."

Tony latches onto his wrist and looks up at him with a small, sorrowful half smile that shatters Bruce's heart to pieces. "Are you okay now though? You're not gonna disappear again?"

"Nah, you saw. He won't even come out. You can't get rid of me _that_ easily. I honestly loved living with you and Pepper. You gave me a family, my own lab, a nice bed that wasn't a flimsy mattress in the dirt...you gave me everything Tony, more than I ever deserved and it really means a lot. I never _wanted_ to leave."

Pacified for the moment, Tony looks past him out the outside window, away from the painful memories of the facility and the people on the other side of the door. "You know, Pepper told me she's pregnant just a little while ago. I promised her that I was done with being an Avenger, that we'd go somewhere peaceful and finally leave it all behind. I've had my eye on this gorgeous cabin by a lake in the woods. You should come with us," he says, barely able to disguise the hopefulness in his voice.

"Me…?" Bruce questions, almost not believing what he's hearing.

"Yes, you," Tony says matter of factly, as if it should be the most obvious thing in the world. "You've already been living with us, and life's too short not to spend it with the people you care about."

Bruce's heart pounds in his chest, his stomach coming alive with butterflies, his breath hitching in his throat. He's so incredibly thankful Hulk is in rebellion mode right now, though he's not quite understanding why he's having this reaction; Tony's already asked him to come home with him once before and they've always had a closer relationship with each other than with the others. But where before it was a gesture of friendship and camaraderie, this felt far more intimate. No Avengers, no fighting, just… life.

He longs for that; to have someone to share a life with, to have a family, but it's just not something that can happen right now. There's a hopeful pleading in Tony's eyes and a pang of longing spreads through Bruce's chest, nearly cracking his resolve. "I don't know, Tony… I don't think I'm the best person to bring around a kid. If I hurt any of you, I would never forgive myself."

"Hey hey hey," Tony says, taking Bruce's hand in his own and squeezing tightly. "I believe in you. You're not a monster, Bruce. And besides, lakeside retreat, far away from everything, no more hero bullshit, what is there to be stressed about?"

Bruce looks down at their joined hands, instinctively threading their fingers together. "It's not that simple. I used to have some control, but I don't anymore and I don't know why. Until I figure out what's wrong with me, I think it's best for me to stay here… restart my research… see if there's some way out of this."

The disappointment etched on Tony's face and the way he sinks back into the bed in defeat is almost enough to break Bruce, especially when Tony tries to pull away. Bruce keeps their hands firmly linked, adding his other hand as well, soothingly rubbing over the inside of Tony's wrist. "That doesn't mean I'm leaving you. I promise. I won't run away from here, and this is still your home, too, right? I just gotta figure some things out. I don't… wanna hurt anyone anymore."

Tony takes in a shaky breath and stops trying to pull away, looking back at Bruce pointedly. "Okay, I get it. But promise me, when you figure it out, you'll come. Meet me by the lake and stay with me."

Bruce smiles, in spite of himself. Tony always gets his way, he suspects in part because it's literally impossible to deny those beautiful eyes. Not that he wants to. "I promise."

Nodding, Tony lies back and closes his eyes again, pinching the bridge of his nose as their hands release. "Shit, I can't believe I'm gonna be a father. My dad wasn't exactly father of the year, how the **_hell_** am I supposed to do this?! I couldn't even protect Peter...oh god...I dragged him into all this...he **_died_** and it's **_my fault_**…."

Tony has a hard time finishing the thought as he lets out an involuntary sob, his body beginning to convulse once more with the stress and terror of the past month. The heart rate monitor begins beeping wildly causing Bruce to fumble for a syringe and the vial of sedative. "Tony! Listen to me, remember to breathe. Let me give you something." He grips Tony's hand and fumbles to draw up the medication with one hand and hold Tony's arm still long enough so he can give him another half dose.

"I can't...I can't… **_I can't do this_**," Tony struggles to get out, clawing at the spot where his arc reactor would normally be, instinctively trying to armor himself. Bruce tries to get him to lie back again and Tony clings to him like a lifeline. Bruce wraps his arms around him and puts his hand on the back of Tony's head.

"Hey hey hey, I promise, everything's gonna be okay. I'm right here, and I'm not gonna leave you. And you know what? You have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You're going to be an _amazing_ father, and that kid is gonna adore you."

It takes a minute, but Tony finally stabilizes, his eyes fluttering closed, the wild panic in him disappearing as the sedative begins taking effect. The beeping returns to normal and Tony's body gradually goes limp as his grip on Bruce loosens. It's only a slight motion, but the feeling of Tony letting go of him makes him unbearably sad, though he doesn't know why. It's not like they're never going to see each other again. Why does it feel so final?

Bruce murmurs, leaning in and putting a hand on Tony's chest, the rising and falling of Tony's breathing making him feel slightly better. It's not the end; it never will be. No matter what they've been through, they've always managed to find their way back to each other.

…

**Present Day, eight months after the Battle of Earth**

One stone, and then another.

Smooth, grey rocks skip over the otherwise calm surface of the lake. Sometimes, when he's particularly down, Bruce likes to imagine they're infinity stones being cast away and destroyed. Just once, he should have been selfish. In his darker thoughts, he wishes they'd never bothered undoing Thanos' destruction. It had cost far too much. There's a constant reminder of it in his arm, pain from a fracture and a wound that will never fully heal, likely not even psychologically.

Why was Tony's happiness so expendable? And that of those who loved him and are now forced to be without him? It's unbearable to walk down the streets of New York and see others happy and reunited. To see the former Avengers tower and not feel his heart constricting in his chest. To walk by Shawarma Palace and not hear Tony's giddy excitement and not want to collapse in on himself.

Why is Tony's or Morgan's or Pepper's happiness worth less than these people? He knows it isn't fair to think like that because Tony had the biggest heart of anyone, and he couldn't be happy while others suffered. That compassion is one of the things that had drawn him to Tony in the first place. Happiness is also what he himself fought for; he'd even lead a life of exile to keep people safe from the Other Guy. But sometimes, it's just too hard not to be angry at a world that won't let any of them stop and be happy for even a minute.

In his worst nightmares, he sees them; first Betty, bruised and bleeding on the floor, comatose, and then Tony, destroyed and scarred and the light of his reactor and eyes fading away all at the same time. Sometimes it's his mother, who'd died saving him from his own father, her head caved in and bleeding; her image turns to Nat, who remains lifeless and alone on Vormir, also broken and bleeding out. There are tears and screaming and gasping until he feels a small weight curled up beside him and peering up at him through small brown eyes… her father's eyes.

Morgan's always there to hug him and calm him down and he suspects, _hopes_, he's comforting for her, too. She has her plenty of her own nightmares.

Sometimes, Pepper is up as well and he holds her until sunrise while they both try to keep from crying. Until she bravely tries to pull it together and go to work on the new foundation she's set up in Tony's memory helping the victims of the Decimation get reacclimated to the world. He still insists he doesn't have the temperament to be a therapist, but he wanted to be there for them more than anything else in the world. The events of the last five years have changed them all, for better and worse.

This night though, it's Bruce alone. Pepper's throwing herself into her work, and Morgan fell asleep after a long night of video games with her new brother Peter; they'd promised each other a play date before his European school trip and May would also visit with him and Pepper.

Sometimes, Bruce likes to sit at the edge of the lake, watching the moon and stars reflecting back at him. Sometimes he can even feel Tony beside him, like he used to when they would pass out on the floor of the lab after a long night. Whenever one or both had nightmares, they'd often find each other there and find solace in the numbers and figures they could control instead of the endless torture inside their own minds. And when it was particularly bad, Tony would hold him close and tell him to shut his eyes and remind him to breathe and that whatever was hurting him couldn't anymore. Tony was warmth and peace and protection and Bruce had never felt safer than in those moments.

After the Decimation, he'd tried to once again find comfort in the lab, to find some way to cure Hulk once and for all, to find a way to live something resembling a normal life; a gamma radiation experiment in which he'd intended to separate himself from Hulk so they no longer had to rely on each other. It ultimately went nowhere, same as it always did. He'd even given the corablanca flower another try. And when he'd finally given in to the Other Guy and accepted that both of them were irrevocably linked, it wasn't the hopeless defeat he'd always thought it would be. They'd come to a truce; they would stay separate, but try harder to become equals.

In the end, Tony had saved not only the universe, but him too. All it had taken was a familiar voice; the one that greeted him every time he would boot up his work station, with a love and acceptance that was all Tony. No one had ever thought that much of him, at least not for a very long time.

'_Banner.'_

'_Welcome, Strongest Avenger.'_

"I kept my promise, I'm here. I guess I should have made you promise, too." Bruce wipes at the tears on his face before skipping another rock into the lake.

"I miss you… so much. Those days when you gave me a home in your tower were some of the happiest of my life. You gave that to me… when I thought I'd be lost and alone forever. You told me Hulk saved my life, that he was a gift, that I was alive for a reason. I didn't want to believe you. What possible good could come out of something like that? But you never stopped believing in me. You believed I'd come in New York… you believed I could do something good with my life."

Struggling to stand up, he dusts himself off with his good arm, taking one last look at the lake before turning to walk back towards the house. "I think I know the reason Hulk saved me now. It wasn't just so I could snap… without Hulk, I would never have met you."

He can feel it deep within; the Other Guy is in every bit of pain he is. Ever since Bruce had stopped seeing him as a disease and moved into the lake house, he hadn't felt Hulk stir very often, except when the memory of Tony became overwhelming. Usually Hulk makes his presence known through anger, but this time he can feel a pulse of deep pain that definitely isn't coming from just him. "You miss him too, don't you?"

Before he reaches the front door, he stops by the small blueberry bushes Pepper and Morgan had planted; one of Tony's favorite snacks. It made his throat tighten and his chest ache. "What… what am I supposed to do now? What is your family supposed to do?"

"Well, for starters, you can help bring him back."

Startled, Bruce whirls around to come face to face with Nick Fury. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe, fervent emotions too close to the surface. "You should know better than to sneak up on me. I'd really rather not let Hulk out right now. You know I have a phone right?"

"I apologize Dr. Banner. However, time is of the essence and you are the only one with the knowledge and expertise to pull it off."

It never ends. Every time Fury shows up, something is horribly wrong and it never ends quietly. "Pull what off?"

"Bringing Stark back to life."

For a moment, Bruce forgets what oxygen is and has to fight to stay upright.

"I'm here… to talk to you about something SHIELD initiated a while ago called Project TAHITI. It involves a specialized serum called GH .325. It was derived from the corpse of a Kree alien, a species who possess the ability to rapidly regenerate. It was designed to heal or resurrect an Avenger should the need arise-"

Images and details of the ill-fated participants in that project come racing back to him, and Bruce can feel the blood draining from his face. Everyone who was injected with that serum would slowly and very painfully lose their minds, with a whole host of other horrifying side effects: psychosis, aphasia, catatonia, hypergraphia which often ended with the subjects cutting symbols into their arms. And they were going to use this on them. "I know what it is. I read all about it when Nat dumped SHIELD's files on the net. Please tell me that's not what you came to me for," Bruce says, narrowing his eyes. "You do know what happens to everyone who undergoes that procedure right? Coulson ended that project for a reason."

Fury lets out a long sigh and places his hands on his hips. "Yes, but there are ways to ease the symptoms, namely induced amnesia. There have been successful outcomes, chief among them Agent Coulson himself. There's no reason Stark ever needs to know."

Pursing his lips together, Bruce clenches his fist, and can feel his fingernails digging into his palm and on the verge of drawing blood. He's dangerously close to losing control and the only thing keeping him from losing it is the thought of his loved ones inside. "So, let me see if I have this right. You want me to help resurrect Tony using the DNA of an alien race who seeks to possibly invade us. Violate him without his knowing in a way that would seriously damage his mental well being. Erase his memory, and then lie about it to him."

"You make it sound like-"

Bruce brings his arm down in a swift, furious motion in front of himself and slams his fist on the deck railing. "No! I don't wanna hear it! And by the way, were you ever gonna tell us about this, or was it gonna just be your dirty little secret that you'd use on us without our consent? Tony spent years traumatized by what he saw in that wormhole, I'm not gonna condemn him to live with it inside him more than he already has!"

"Dr. Banner, just listen to me for one moment, please-"

"You don't care about us! If you did, you wouldn't even be suggesting this to me right now! You just want to bring him back so you can use him again!"

"**_Look_**! Contrary to what you might feel, I care about all of you. Very much. I have no interest in reviving Stark just to see him hurt again. But there's something coming. Something that will make Thanos and the Chitauri look like child's play. I'm not going to ask him, or you, to fight. But we do need his intelligence, we need what he knows, and what you know, and every last bit of help we can possibly get. This world **_needs_** him. And I know **_you_** need him, too."

Rubbing a hand over his face, Bruce turns away and leans against the railing, white knuckle gripping it while staring at the ground. "...I'm sorry. It's unfair to say you don't care. You've always looked out for us and did what you could. It's just… Tony suffered a lot after New York. And you and I both know that if Tony can do something to help, even if it means dying, he always will without a second thought. If he comes back… it's hard to imagine he'd stay out of the fight. I'm sorry but… this can't be the solution. I want him back more than anything in the world, but I won't let you do this, and I won't do it myself either."

Fury walks over and puts a hand on Bruce's constantly painful arm. "I know how hard this must be for you. I know what Stark means to you and that you have certain feelings for him-"

Bruce's head snaps up. "What do you mean 'certain feelings?' Are you implying I'm in love with him?"

A grin spreads across Fury's face and a lighthearted laugh escapes, causing Bruce to make a quieting gesture, not wanting to wake the others inside. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry… but are you seriously trying to tell me you're not?"

"Of course not! We're close friends. He has a wife! And I'm just… me. No one would look twice at me, much less someone like him."

"Dr. Banner, as long as I've known you and been tracking you, you've learned how to keep your anger in check. But the rest of your emotions? You're a mess. I know you thought about possibly moving on with Romanov because you thought she had a crush on you, and you were scared of what you were feeling for Stark, and knew that Stark already had Miss Potts. Romanov felt the same way about Barton, and you both felt alone. But I've seen it since day one; you got it damn bad for Stark. Still do, considering how you were about two seconds away from bashing my skull in over the possibility that I might bring him harm."

Bruce raises his arm in the air, lips parted as this bit of information completely overwhelms his neuron processes. Shaking his head and blinking several times, he finally remembers what English is and manages to stammer his way through. "H-How… do you even know any of this?"

"I'm a spy. It's literally my job to know people better than they know themselves."

It's hard to argue with that. Still, this is not at all a personal revelation Bruce is ready to face. Tony's gone, and it hurts far too much. Entertaining the very real possibility that he's in love with him is something Bruce can't take right now. He's about to rebuke Fury for a second time when he feels something collide with his leg. Looking down, he sees Morgan's small form clinging to him.

"Bruce… I had another bad dream… I need Hulk…." Morgan whimpers, burying her face against him. He can feel the wetness of her tears through the fabric and Bruce immediately softens, bending down to scoop her up with his good arm. He places a kiss against her hair while she wraps her arms tightly around his neck.

"Oh, sweetheart. Everything's okay. You're safe, nothing can get you, I promise. I'm right here, Hulk's here, too."

"...promise?" she asks, looking up at him with red eyes.

"Of course! Let's go get him okay?"

Morgan nods before burying her face in his shoulder. Bruce looks over to Fury and mouths "I'll be right back," before carrying Morgan inside to the living room.

Setting her down on the couch, Bruce ducks behind to reach for his duffel bag and pulls out a stuffed Hulk doll. He studies it for a minute, the irony not lost on him. He even has his own ice cream flavor now for crying out loud. Somehow, he's managed to become loved instead of feared. It feels… strange and amazing and something perhaps like healing.

Gripping the doll to face away from him, he ducks down and holds it above the back of the couch before quietly roaring, "RAAAAARRRRGGGHHH I AM THE HULK! I HAVE SWORN TO DEFEND PRINCESS MORGAN FROM ALL EVIL! I WILL LAY WASTE TO HER ENEMIES! NO ONE CAN DEFEAT ME!"

Giggling, Morgan sniffles and takes the doll, hugging it tightly. Bruce pops up from behind the couch and picks Morgan back up, carrying her towards her room. "Let's go find mommy, she needs to be protected, too right?"

"Wait, wait!" she squeaks. "The helmet!"

Bruce turns back, scanning the living room for the iron man helmet; the one Tony had left his last recorded message in, and had asked to be given to Morgan specifically. She's taken to wearing it often; not only to see Tony, but because it makes her feel safer. It's one of her last tethers to him. Grabbing it, he slips it on her head, giving it a pat for good measure.

As he carries her to her bed, he's careful not to wake Peter who is sprawled out asleep on the floor of her bedroom and clutching an Iron Man plushie. Bruce tries as hard as possible to have no thoughts about that image, sets Morgan dow in her bed, and pulls the covers over her. "All right, kiddo. You got the Hulk and your helmet and your Spider-Bro. You show those bad dreams who's boss, okay? And if you really really need me, you know where I am, right?"

Nodding, she whispers, "Thank you Bruce," before pulling the covers over her head.

Pepper is in the living room when he closes the door behind him. "More nightmares?" she smiles sadly.

"Yeah. But she'll be okay. She's strong."

She opens her arms for him and hugs him tightly when he steps toward her. "Thank you. I'm really glad you decided to come here. Not just for Morgan. You've been a really amazing friend."

He hugs her back just as tightly, and honestly, doesn't know what he would have done without all of them. "I'm really glad I came here, too. Thank you for giving me a home."

Releasing him, and giving a quick, affectionate pat to his uninjured shoulder, Pepper gestures toward the window. "So, what happened out there? I thought I heard you talking to someone."

Bruce tenses up; he's genuinely torn on whether or not to tell her. She has the right to know, but he also doesn't want to cause her more pain than she's already been through. Seeing the concerned look in her eyes after he hesitates answering, he decides it's not fair to make those choices for her. "It's… uhm… it's... Agent Fury. He wanted to speak to me about a… special project."

Pepper stares out the window where she can see Fury's silhouette, her expression unreadable. She finally speaks and sighs her long perfected resignation. "Nothing good ever happens when they show up. What's the project about?"

Biting his lip, Bruce looks away, unable to meet her eyes. "He's asking for my help. Bringing Tony back to life."

He watches as she visibly pales, her mouth agape and her eyes cast to the floor in shock as she braces herself on the corner of the couch. For a long while, she can't say anything, and simply shakes her head and wraps her arms around herself. Breathless, she finally looks back at Bruce, tears visibly forming in her eyes. "I… what? How can you… is that even possible? And why! What does he want with Tony now?!"

Bruce sits beside her, and places an arm on her back. "I know.. I already told him I wouldn't do it. And I definitely won't do it if it's not what you want. I don't want to hurt you or Morgan."

"Of course I want him back… I can't imagine a life without him around… I just… I don't want him to suffer and be killed again for some agenda. If Tony comes back, he won't stay out of it, he never does. I knew it was only a matter of time before he didn't come back and so did he. But he just kept on going… and he never wanted to stop. I was never important enough to stop for."

Bruce tries to bring her into another hug and comfort her as much as he can. "That's not true. After the snap, I think he finally stopped because it became real for him and he realized what he could lose."

"He stopped because of Morgan. Believe me, I've been trying to get him to stop doing stupid things since the very first day I was hired and I have yet to be successful. Tony does whatever he wants or doesn't want and everyone else just has to adapt or move. I admit, I was really jealous when he found all of you and got really attached. I wish he'd been that attached to me."

"Pepper. I'm not… We're not. Anything. Really." Fury's words are in his head though. Taunting him. _You got it damn bad for Stark. Still do._ She wasn't talking about Bruce. She was talking about the Avengers. There's nothing for her to be jealous of. Tony wasn't attached to him. They weren't… anything more than friends. "I'm sorry. I-"

"No, no… Bruce, you've been amazing to me and to Morgan. It's not you. I just…."

"He loved you, you know that right? All he wanted was you and Morgan. He really didn't want this."

She breathes deeply for a moment and shakes her head. "He was always looking for something else. We both wanted and needed different things. He wanted to be Iron Man, I just wanted our normal life back. He was all I had and I was all he had, until suddenly I wasn't. After he was captured in Afghanistan, I think… we were both just scared and clinging to what was familiar. But he's been on a path I can't follow. I tried," she whimpers, her voice cracking as she puts her head in her hands.

"Pepper… I…." Bruce trails off, unsure of what else he could say to make her feel better, if there even was anything.

"I know he loved me," she continues, not looking up. "I loved him, too and always will, and we'll always be connected by Morgan. But I can't… if he comes back, I can't do it again. I spent so long being terrified of the day he wouldn't come back alive, and now that's happened and I can't watch him die again, I can't. I can't watch Morgan lose her father again. And if something really bad happens, he won't stay out of it, he can't, I literally don't think he knows how. He tries to pretend like he's made of metal, but he's fragile and human just like the rest of us."

"That was my concern, too. You know… if I do this, if I bring him back… it's for you and Morgan. Nothing else."

When she finally looks back up, she smiles at him through the tears, and takes his hand. Her other hand she folds on top protectively. "Promise me… if he comes back, you'll stay with him. He needs you. He needs a partner. You know, one of the greatest regrets of my life was not telling him how I felt before he was captured, when I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. I don't want you to have that regret, too. So if you're lucky enough… you should tell him how you feel."

"How I feel… oh god, not you too?! He loves you! Not me?!"

"You'd be surprised."

"I don't-"

"Bruce. Listen. I have known Tony for a very, very long time. He doesn't get close to just anyone. You can count on one hand the amount of people he loves and trusts without question. And he lets his guard down with you in a way I haven't seen him do with anyone else. He insisted on bringing you home to the tower, and he insisted again on bringing you here even after the Avengers were done. I know he opened up to you about the darkest parts of himself, which he does **_not_** do. With anyone. I don't know for sure how he felt, but I do know that whatever it was he needed from you was really exceptional. And I think you owe it to yourself to find out. You deserve to be happy too."

"But I don't… I don't wanna get between you-"

She shakes her head and wipes away her own tears before enveloping him in another hug. "He and I gave each other what we needed for a little while and now we need different things. And like I said… it's not like we wouldn't still have each other. And you have me, too. You're my family, the same as Tony, and I love you both. If you can make each other happy, nothing should stand in the way of that. Please… I'm counting on you to keep him safe, okay? Don't let him suffer anymore."

Overwhelmed with emotion, all Bruce can do is bite his lip and return the embrace. He rests his chin on her shoulder for a moment before nodding and brushing a kiss against the side of her hair. She leaves him to return to her own bedroom, and he walks back to Fury in a haze.

"You look like you've seen some shit," Fury says. "The hell happened in there? It's only been twenty minutes."

Bruce doesn't answer and runs his good hand through his hair, over his forehead, then balls his fist up into his sleeve before dropping it back to his side in defeat, still pulling at the fabric. He feels like someone dropped an atomic bomb on him and he swears he can feel Hulk laughing at him from within. Puny Banner indeed.

He doesn't have a PhD for this. This feels a hell of a lot like that time he flew a spaceship on Sakaar; might as well be. Fury is right, feelings are not his strong point. So, he decides to do what he always does when confronted with a problem; look at it scientifically, factually. And right now what he knows is that he misses Tony and wants him back.

"If I do this," Bruce starts, finally meeting Fury's gaze, his eyes dark and determined and alive with warning. "I'm going to do it my way... And he is **_not_** going to fight your wars anymore."

Fury smiles and puts his hands up in surrender pose. "You're the boss. We're square. However, what do you propose, if not TAHITI?"

"Gather the team. Bring them here tomorrow. Make sure Stephen Strange is with them."

…

It's early morning when the Avengers gather in Tony's living room, everyone somber and quiet, unsure of what to say. They haven't been all together like this since Tony's funeral and they'd all gone their separate ways after the battle with Thanos. Tony's and Natasha's absences are felt in the air, heavy, suffocating, a feeling of being incomplete. Appropriately, it's cloudy and rainy, and Bruce watches from the deck as Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy load Morgan and Peter into the car to take them to school; he wanted to wait until they were gone until he addressed the team, not wanting Morgan and Peter to hear and be retraumatized or get false hope. He watches as Rhodey bends to pick Morgan up for a hug and kiss to which she happily tells him, "I love you, Uncle Rhodey!" and shouts out behind her, "I love you, Bruce!" Pepper looks back and shoots shoots Bruce a small, sad smile before getting in the car and driving off with Happy.

He's really not looking forward to this, and truthfully, it's one of the two reasons he wanted the team around. The last time he'd seen Stephen Strange, he'd only gotten a minor glimpse into the man, interrupted by the arrival of Thanos when he hadn't had time to think about anything else. But as soon as Peter told him what transpired after Tony left on Thanos' ship, Bruce had never been more challenged to contain his rage in his life.

According to Peter, Strange had used the time stone to view fourteen millions various future outcomes to their battle with Thanos, and Strange had told them there was only one in which they succeeded in defeating him, but had refused to give any information about what transpired in the winning future. But he had seen Tony's death; meaning he'd stopped looking for a way to win at fourteen million and decided that the only way was for Tony to die and fulfill what he'd seen, never once trying to warn him or keep looking beyond that finite number of fourteen million. Bruce should have known that would happen; Strange had made it clear that protecting the time stone and "their reality" was his only priority.

Guilt gnaws at Bruce's stomach and he has to fight to keep the nausea at bay. On Sakaar, he'd insisted to Thor over and over that he was every bit as powerful and useful as Hulk, but he's never felt more useless than right now. Maybe if he'd been stronger, maybe if he'd taken the time to stop running from Hulk and instead tried to understand him and work with him, maybe Tony would still be alive… he should have been there, should have had his back instead of leaving him to Strange's machinations….

_Maybe. Should have. If._ The demons in his head threaten to rip him apart more than Hulk ever has.

His thoughts are abruptly cut short when Rhodey walks up the deck stairs and greets Bruce with a warm handshake and hug, which Bruce returns wholly. They'd kept in contact when they could; Bruce worried for him, knowing he'd been one of the closest to Tony for so long. He was also the only one besides Pepper he'd told about the plan beforehand last night. "How you holding up?" Bruce asks him.

"Eh, you know. As well as can be expected. We really gonna do this?"

"I owe him everything, I have to try. Tony didn't deserve this. He deserves to have a life with his family."

Nodding in agreement, Rhodey leads Bruce back in so they can address the team. Unsurprisingly, it's Scott who breaks everyone's silence.

"So… what was so important that you had to wake everyone up at the crack of dawn? I was in the middle of some very important beauty sleep."

This ellicits several laughs and smirks from everyone, in the way that only Scott can. Bruce smiles, too, and stands up in front of them. "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry this is so last second. But uhm… as of last night, I've been asked by Agent Fury to head up a project that would revive Tony from death."

"You mean like a zombie….? Pretty sure there are several movies dedicated to why that's a very bad idea," Scott says, incredulous.

"Just Tony? Because there's no one else we've lost who's important and worth saving?" Clint asks, his voice cracking under the weight of his despair.

"I promise you, if what I have in mind works, I will do everything in my power to help Nat as well. But I don't even know if what I have in mind will work."

"Because you need my help." The conversation is interrupted by the voice of Stephen Strange, who walks into the room, tailed closely by Fury. "Correct?"

Bruce tenses, balls his fists at his sides and gives the other doctor a cold, hard stare. Fury gives Bruce a pointed look and Bruce has to remember his breathing, just like he'd learned in Brazil and just like he and Tony would always remind each other.

This is the first time Bruce has seen Strange one on one since Strange dumped him through a portal and almost dropped a taxi on his head. He thought he could handle it; but now he's not so sure. Now all he can see when he looks at Strange is Tony's lifeless body and the light fading from his eyes. This is far too important to lose control now. Bruce closes his eyes and and works on coming back to his senses.

After a moment of tense silence, all eyes on Bruce and Strange, Bruce feels in control enough to confront him. "Yes, I need your help and you're going to help me."

"Am I now?"

Bruce bristles at Strange's nonchalant tone but doesn't back down. "Yes, you are. It's your fault Tony's dead, and you're going to help get him back."

Strange lets out a small huff and closes his eyes. "Is that really why you dragged me all the way out here? Because I'm afraid that's not going to happen. I can't just wave a magic wand and undo what happened. Unlike you and Stark, I don't toy at playing god."

"Don't you?" Bruce sneers, his voice dropping dangerously low. It's so much worse than he envisioned; Strange barely even saw Tony as a person. He was just someone who could do what needed to be done and it didn't matter what Tony's life was worth. Much like Ross and everyone else who only saw Bruce as the Hulk and not the man suffering underneath. They only wanted his power and what he could do for them. Even Hulk is angry that someone would treat Tony the same way, and Bruce rarely feels him so strongly without immediately changing though even his vision is blurring into green.

"Are you really gonna stand there and act like you had no power over what happened? Tony died because of you."

Strange rolls his eyes, like he's put upon for even being here. "I told him from the very start that my oath was preserving the time stone and this reality, and that I would not hesitate to let him die. He agreed. Perhaps instead of directing your misplaced anger at me, you should calm down and see the bigger picture."

"The bigger picture?" Bruce growls through gritted teeth. Did that picture include Tony's family? His wife and tiny daughter and adopted son and all of his friends who needed his heart and his light and him?

"I saw every possible future. All fourteen million six hundred five of them and none ended in our victory but one. It happened to involve his death, which indicates that was the variable contingent on all of our futures. You and I both know he treated his life like a commodity. I didn't make him do anything; he chose it."

"There are an infinite number of futures, you just took the route most convenient to you because, apparently, fourteen million six hundred and six is one too many." Bruce's eyes flash green. He can feel his grip on control loosening and soon no amount of self-soothing will help.

Strange summons magic to his hands, his eyes never leaving Bruce's. "Stark did what he did knowing full well what would happen.

Hulk's deep voice breaks through when he opens his mouth, "Bullshit! You didn't tell him what was going to happen! You knew, and you decided to sacrifice him! He had a family and you just threw him away!"

Steve and Thor instantly leap to Bruce's side and grip him in a tight embrace. The rest of the team is on their feet, prepared for things to devolve even further; Fury has his hands on his gun, eyes pleading with Bruce to stop. Bruce feels greener every second, and desperately tries to break free from their grip to lunge and rip Strange to pieces while hot tears run down his face.

"Come on, Banner," Thor says to him gently but firm, pleading with his friend to listen. "You've got to calm down! If you let it control you, you'll lose your chance to bring Stark back! You have every right to be angry but you have to overcome this! I know you can!"

Strange, still wary and unimpressed, says coolly, "You think the Avengers are the only ones who swore to protect this world? I did what I had to do, the same as you all. I won't apologize for seeing a way out and taking it."

Still shaking violently, Bruce deflates, though he's no less angry. His gaze is hard and sharp and he's clinging to his friends for dear life. "You just… discarded him. Like a tool you had no more use for." His voice is low and dangerous, shaking in anguish. "What's done is done and I know beating the life out of you won't bring him back. But he didn't deserve to die. He deserved to come home to his family just like everyone else. Don't you… don't you have anyone in the world you care for so much you'd do anything to help them?"

Strange doesn't blink, but his fingers glance over a broken watch on his wrist.

Maybe that's enough to break through the wall.

Finally feeling strong enough to let go of Steve and Thor, Bruce shrugs off their grip and walks up to Strange. "You owe him your life. All of us— you, me, everyone in this room and all of our families and friends. None of us would be here if he hadn't died for us. This is the least you can do."

Strange doesn't meet his gaze. But he also doesn't walk away. "And how exactly am I supposed to help?"

Bruce relaxes into a more hopeful stance. "When I went into the past to retrieve the time stone, your predecessor did something to me, she separated me from my body and my physical form was unconscious."

"She separated your soul from your body into the astral dimension."

"That's what I was wondering. If it's a realm where souls exist, then it's possible Tony's soul is still out there somewhere, isn't it? If a soul is what's needed for us to exist, then is it possible to bring Tony's soul back to his body?"

Strange shakes his head. "Once the physical body dies, the soul also leaves the astral dimension and passes on to the afterlife. But there are infinite versions of the afterlife, as many as there are dimensions. Every culture, every world, and even individual people have their own unique afterlives, Valhalla and the Ancestral Plane for example. Even if you could get to the afterlife, there's no guarantee you'd be able to find him. And let's say you did manage to find him, what then? His physical body is shattered so far beyond repair it would never be able to hold its soul in."

"I… have some ideas about that," Bruce murmurs, fidgeting with the fabric of his arm brace. He turns to the rest of his team and swallows hard; he has no idea how they're going to react.

Licking his lips, he takes a deep breath, and continues, looking purposefully in Steve's direction. "I want to give Tony the super soldier serum."

This time, it's Fury's turn to balk. "Oh, **_hell_** no. No no **_no_**! I already see where this is going, and you're out of your damn mind if you think I'm gonna let you do what I think you're gonna do."

"What's he talking about Banner?" Steve asks, looking with concern between the two. "I thought that serum was lost. Are you saying you're able to recreate it?"

Bruce casts his eyes to the floor and shakes his head. All of the data had been left behind in Sterns' lab, and there was no way in hell the government hadn't found it and taken it all long ago, along with all of his blood Sterns had duplicated. Which left him with only one option; the one nightmare he never wanted to face. "There's still someone who has serum, or rather has access to it. I would recreate it, but all of my data was lost. But I can surrender myself to military custody, in exchange for the serum."

Fury throws his hands in the air and looks to the sky as if to ask, "why me," something akin to a struggling father trying to corral his unruly children for bedtime and failing miserably. "Are you seriously kidding me with this? Do you have any idea what Ross would do to you, would create with your power given the opportunity?! That is the exact kind of threat the Avengers are supposed to guard against, not initiate! Forget it!"

"With all due respect sir," Bruce says sternly, pulling himself back together with steeled resolve, "I wasn't asking permission. You came to me asking for help bringing him back. You said we need him, and I won't turn my back on him. The Other Guy and I don't agree on much, but we agree on this.

"And that's why I need all of you," Bruce continues and looks around the room at everyone gathered there. "I want to make sure that whatever Ross does, it's contained and stopped."

Fury sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "And if this fails, they will weaponize you and thousands, possibly millions, will die. You've always known this. Stark's sacrifice will have been for nothing and you will again have the blood on your hands you so fear. You really want that? I understand your feelings, but you need to think about this clearly. You really wanna walk into hell, just for Stark?"

There was no logical reason he and Tony should fit together, and yet they did. They were polar opposites in so many ways, and yet it was like their souls were the same. When they embraced, his soft, unassuming form fit perfectly against Tony's strong, muscled one. When they'd met for the first time, it was like they'd known each other all their lives. Instead of disdain, Tony had offered him the world; warmth, safety, acceptance. Trust. And most importantly, love.

Standing in the cold light of Tony's living room, outside the lake that held their promise to each other, Bruce says evenly, "I would walk into hell as many times as it took. Even if I burned up trying." His voice is quiet and trembles, but he finally feels brave enough to face the truth. "I love Tony more than anything. I'm going to bring him home."


End file.
